Justification
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: If he lived long enough he knows Cooper would let him have it for defying a direct order but in that moment it wasn't his mind justifying giving in to Red's request – it was his heart. He couldn't let Liz die, no matter what. Liz/Ressler Tag to eppy 1.10 Anslo Gerrick part 2 (contains some spoilers)


**Title: Justification**

**Summary: ** If he lived long enough he knows Cooper would let him have it for defying a direct order but in that moment it wasn't his mind justifying giving in to Red's request – it was his heart. He couldn't let Liz die, no matter what. Liz/Ressler Tag to eppy 1.10 Anslo Gerrick part 2 (contains some spoilers)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing…only my muse and my ideas otherwise all characters belong to this amazing show!

**A/N: **YAY WE WE'RE JUST RENEWED LESS THAN 24 HOURS AFTER LAST NIGHTS AMAZING RATINGS WINNER FALL FINALE FOR SEASON 2! Okay enthusiastic fangurl shouting over haha Boo Audrey go away haha well not so fast b/c you bring awesome angst. I won't touch on her much in this b/c that's another story *wink* but hope you all like this little piece into the ever awesome Agent Ressler's mind.

NOTE: _"words in italics and double quotes taken direction from the eppy"_

**~Dedicated to MFB~ (thanks for the brainstorm) hope you like it!**

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_"Do not give him the code Agent Ressler, that's an order!" _

Pain. Waves of dizzying pain…cold….hot….mind-numbing. He had heard the shot earlier and Red pleading for a life…his mind had heard the shouting but it didn't wake him up in that moment; he wasn't needed. It was a terrible justification but one that he'd have to live with. One he'd gladly live with, especially when he thinks upon the reason why he chose to wake up when he did.

_Don't give in…they'll kill us no matter what…DON'T GIVE IN! His brain yells; echoing Cooper's strict command. Don't…give in…_

_"Do not give him the code Agent Ressler, that's an order." _

He hears it again…the order…but this time his watery eyes snap open as Red jostles his head; his lips uttering an anguished cry as his body inwardly screams in rebellion.

_"Wake up Agent Ressler!" _

Why? He wants to argue back, his eyes trying to focus on Red's absolute panic-stricken expression. Who was at their mercy now? Cooper? Meera? … one of Red's people? Liz wasn't in…so who was it? _No! I'm not giving in! _His brain states firmly. _Why would I give in? Anslo wants to kill Red…the door opens and we're both dead. A bullet to the head? Might be easier than just waiting to slowly bleed out._

RESSLER!

His eyes lock with Red's and for the first time since he's known him the panic was almost inexpressible. _What's going on? Who's there?_ He thought he heard Red mention Denbe's name. He's his hired gun; getting into bed with Red Reddington is automatically a death sentence. _He chose his path. Not my problem_. But it's not…it's someone else…someone so important to Red Reddington that he's willing to add to Ressler's pain to make his point very clear. Crystal clear. Absolute.

"Look," Red hisses as he squats down beside Ressler's sweat drenched head and lifts him so that his watery eyes are finally able to see what has Red Reddington in absolute panic-mode.

_Oh damn no…not Liz. This…this can't be happening…no Liz…should be me instead. Should be me out there not Liz!_ His mind yells as they lock eyes; her brave warm brown ones holding his anguished sapphire blue ones long enough for them to make a silent connection. His gaze falters, but she holds his gaze, finally nodding 'no' do not give in; save yourself and Red. _Damn now she gets heroic on me!_

Red lowers his head back down and then starts to act rather rashly, roughly yanking the gun clip from the gaping wound on his broken leg and forcing his lips to cry out in agony. His body tenses for a few painful seconds before it slumps back down; his eyes watching Red angrily push the clip back into the empty barrel of the gun; the blood splatter cleverly hiding most of his actions.

Then Red does the unthinkable…the unbelievable…he pushes the newly loaded weapon into the side of Ressler's sweaty temple and cocks the trigger. _What the hell! _

"Now Ressler! I need that code now!"

_"What are you going to do? Are you going to kill me? You just saved my life," Ressler offers in his weak defense. _ He got it…he knew the moment that Red had chosen Elizabeth Keen that there was some kind of special bond between them but this…this was beyond desperation. What was she to him? More than just a professional contact? Killing for Red wasn't as big a deal as it would be for a normal human being. But Red wasn't normal and killing was a matter of convince to him. That time was now? For Liz? But inside his heart he knows…he knows he'll give in to Red. His fate was already sealed. Maybe it was the day they first met? If not then it certainly was now…now he would be forced to show those around him just what Elizabeth Keen meant to him. Her life…was worth more than his own.

His mind starts to drift back into the painful world of oblivion; a brief but very deliberate squeeze to his throbbing arm instantly snaps him back to reality. He tries to shake his head no…he couldn't…but inside…his mind and heart were now starting to wage a very different war. Moments earlier…when he knew that it wasn't someone he cared about, about to face extinction he was resolute but…_wait…care about? Liz? Your partner? She's married….she's…_there was no use arguing. Could Red tell he cared about her? Was that the reason behind his seemingly out of character behavior to desperately save his life? Using the guise that he was just saving a dying man because it was the right thing to do at the time? Even offering his own life blood to ensure he lived to see another day? _This is Red Reddington…who the hell knows what's going on in his mind…I just know…I can't let Liz die._

And as if his heart needed any further motivation…Red drops a verbal bomb on him. Liz would die and it would be on him. Could he live with that?

_"Circumstances have changed Donald. If you can't save her you're of no use whatsoever. LOOK AT ME! Agent Keen will die. Now's the time."_

_I can't kill Liz! _ His heart argues with his mind as he hears Cooper's angry voice in the background telling him to not give in and Liz's soft pleading gaze bravely telling him his and Red's life was worth more than his. _That's just it…our lives are not worth more than hers…hers is worth more. Her life is worth more to me than my own._

And despite the fact he tells himself that in a few moments he'll probably be dead and she'll be going home to a man that doesn't really deserve her…there was only one decision he was going to make.

_"Romeo…the access code is Romeo."_

For the first time since he took the oath…he defied a direct order and gave up a secret that would, he fears be life ending. _I'm doing this for Liz…his heart remains firm in its resolve. This is for Liz._

"Thank you," Red whispers as he tucks the gun beside Ressler's uninjured right leg, knowing that he was leaving the weapon in very capable hands. He looks down at the brave young man a few feet from his grasp and nods. "I will see you again Donald. Take care of Lizzie," he whispers before he turns and heads back to the blood spattered door and looks at Anslo in contempt before he offers the code.

For the first time in what seems like forever, Ressler's brain clears the ringing in his ears long enough for him to hear the distinct 'swoosh' of the door opening and some muchly needed fresh air enter, well as fresh as the black site could offer. _Liz…this can't be happening…she can't die!_

The danger still wasn't over and he wants more than anything to sit up and fire at them all, setting her free. When he hears Anslo tell his men they're taking _her _because she's special to Red, his heart sinks. _Was all that in vain? Did I just offer the code in vain? Will Liz still die and it'll be on my hands? What have I done?_

He tries to remain still….play dead as he had learned so many years ago when he first joined the Bureau. But with his mind now racing for Liz's welfare and his heart sinking further and further into inky oblivion he fears he'll just sit up and justify his own end – a hail of gunfire to end a tormented day.

_Liz…where are they taking Liz…_Red's pleading is to no avail as he hears Anslo tell a few to bring Red and the girl and come with him; the rest were to stay behind and finish off the captured elite team. _Liz won't die in vain…she'll fight back…she's a fighter…I have to fight back…wait for the moment…wait and then act…_

_This is for Liz…_

And he acts…within seconds his hand grips the gun, his breath holds and his finger fires off the shots; Cooper doing the rest. The armed standoff inside the black site finally over.

_"Just hold on Ressler, I'll get you out of here right away."_

XXXXXXXX

_'I only speak to Elizabeth Keen'…'I've worked with the FBI 7 years…you 7 weeks'…'Your new partner'…'I like you Liz but its time you protect yourself.' THIS IS FOR LIZ!_

"Ahhh!" Ressler's breath catches as his mind flashes images from the day he and Liz met up to a several hours ago when he was forced to watch her give her life for him. "Oh…damn…" he groans as his fingers frantically fumble for the small bedside light. But before his hand connects with the hard surface, soft skin rests on his and stops his actions; a few seconds later, the light being flipped on and allowing him to see who was at his side.

"Liz?" Ressler's voice manages hoarsely as he slumps back down, looking up at her in wonder. "What happened? Are you okay? I'm…thank god you're alive."

"I jumped from the ambulance and Red…Red is in the wind."

"I'm sorry."

"Don…you saved us. Anslo is dead…we found his body and I'm alive because of you," she tells him warmly as her hand rests atop his.

His eyes look at the bruise above her left eye and instantly his brow furrows.

"It's nothing."

"Have you been home yet?" He asks, as if wanting to kill the mood for himself. _What mood? You wish there was a mood._

"I texted Tom and told him I was okay. I had to come and see my partner first. How's the leg?"

"Well…I asked for a wooden one but they were fresh out," Ressler lightly retorts as his lips slightly curve. "It's going to leave a nasty scar."

"But one hell of a story," she adds, making his smile slightly grow. "I'll bet its getting some pretty nice attention from all the nurses."

"One so far…his name is Garth and he's already offered to give me a sponge bath," Ressler deadpans as Liz offers an automatic giggle. For a few blissful moments, his mind and heart revel in her laughter and just the fact she's there…her presence offering a comfort he hadn't felt in the hours following his surgery. But a few seconds later her expression turns serious and his mood starts to sink.

"You know I have to ask Don…"

"Cooper already read me _the I'm glad you're okay but you did defy a direct order_ riot act. You're lucky it worked out this time but next time it might not," he huffs as she offers him a sympathetic gaze.

"No…I have to ask why you did it. What did Red tell you to get you to get you to offer up the code?"

"He would have killed me."

"Red…"

"He said if I didn't give him the code to save you…I was basically dead," Ressler finally confesses. "But he didn't have to tell me…as soon as I saw you in Anslo's grasp…giving it up was my only option."

"Dummy," she gently teases as his face softens. "What happened to all that don't give in…you're not cut out for this job…"

"I was wrong. Just don't tell Cooper," he gently smiles as the strong morphine starts to call him back to the world of darkness. "

"I can see you struggling to stay awake."

"Liz…" Ressler asks in haste as his brow furrows. "It's uh…it's nothing. So no word on Red?"

"What is it? Using Red to change the subject is usually my tactic," she offers somewhat wryly. "I know that look. Don, what's going on?"

"I did it to save you. The others…I didn't do it for them. Maybe that was wrong…maybe that wa…" is all he manages before her soft finger gently rests on his flushed lips. He takes her hand and holds it firmly in his grasp. "I couldn't let him kill you."

"But you didn't know he wouldn't just march in there and kill you," she states as her hand remains comfortably in his.

"I was of no further use to anyone," he admits with a small frown as she looks at him tenderly. "Your life is worth more," he confesses the heartfelt truth; prompting her to lean in and plant a soft kiss on his flushed forehead.

"Thank you," she whispers as she pulls back with an endearing gaze. "I'm glad you hung on. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. When I saw all the blood in there…I was scared."

"Red saved my life. Literally. Did he tell you?"

"No. He left that for you to tell me."

"I didn't even know you were in the building until Red basically forced me to acknowledge it. Where were you?"

"Elevator."

"Really?" Ressler arches his brows, his heart yelling at his brain to keep him awake for as long as she was at his side. _When she leaves…I'll be alone and she'll go back to a man who just badgers her to death. Stay awake! _"And?"

"You really want all the boring details?" Liz looks at him in surprise. "I'm more interested in what happened between you and Red in that box. You two shared some quality bonding time by the sounds of it."

"Ah just Red talking about wine and whatever else Red talks about," Ressler offers up in half-truth. "Tell me? Aram said you went all die hard with no shoes? What?"

"I'll kill him," she playfully hisses under his breath as Ressler's eyes slightly widen.

"Really? He was right? No shoes?"

"There's not much to tell…I saved the day," she states somewhat triumphantly as his gives her a tender smile. "You really need to rest. Do you need anything? Jell-O? Sponge bath? Want me to find Garth?" She asks lightly as his face offers a tight smile.

"Sure."

"Don…."

"Wait. I…I just don't want you to go yet," he finally confesses seriously as his hand rests atop hers. "Please? Stay a bit longer? Tell me about…the weather. Just…stay."

She looks at the tormented expression on his handsome face and knows she won't be able to say no; even if her mind was able to justify a million reasons from him needing his rest to her having to be home – her heart, much like his earlier, was now the entity calling the shots. It was something she was going to listen to.

"Okay so I got in just as…" her voice trails off as she launches into her story, their hands still clasped at his side and neither of them in a hurry to tell the other to leave the other. He had justified in his heart, disobeying an order to save her life and in the end it had worked out – they were both alive to continue being partners and strengthening their friendship. She had justified in her heart, coming to see her partner before her husband was the right thing and spending time at his side after a near death experience was where she was needed most at that moment. And _he_ had justified for both of them the need to hack into the hospital's security system from afar and watch them – with a proud smile.

**THE END!**

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**A/N:** Well I hope you all liked this little post ep piece. I needed a little something to cheer myself up with tonight so I hope you all liked this too. Please do review before you go and thanks so much! I hope you are also all enjoying my other two Liz/Ressler stories :)


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